


where the sun does not shine

by Mish_Mish_Fish



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 22:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14482932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mish_Mish_Fish/pseuds/Mish_Mish_Fish
Summary: Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War.In the moment before the spaceship blows up, Thor has time to collapse as if the world has just ended (because it has).Loki’s shoulder is a good place to land.





	where the sun does not shine

 

In the moment before the spaceship blows up, Thor has time to collapse as if the world has just ended (because it has). Loki’s shoulder is a good place to land. Thor has not the strength to scream, and so he weeps instead - near-silent, gasping sobs that hurt the bruises on his ribs. It infuriates him that he only has one eye left to cry with. He wants to shed enough tears to fill his lungs up and drown. 

 

_ You idiot,  _ he thinks. Denial battles despair in his chest, and he realizes with horror that the latter is winning.  _ This is a joke. You’re just joking right now. Please, oh, please be joking right now - _

 

Loki’s leather shirt smells like blood and engine fuel and also a faint, faint trace of amber perfume -  _ you showy little prick, you always dressed like you were going to a party  _ \- and that barely-there scent reminds Thor of golden Asgard. It reminds him of warm sunshine in the palace gardens, of his mother’s musical laughter, of his father’s proud gaze, of Loki throwing grapes at him from across the dinner table. The memory blinds him for a moment, blotting out the bloodstained blackness of the refugee ship. 

 

_ Nice feathers,  _ Loki teases him from years and years past, and Thor wishes then that he’d known then what was to come. 

 

Or perhaps, he thinks as the memory fades, ignorance is bliss?

  
  
  


In the moment before the spaceship blows up, Thor has time to recall that he and Loki used to play games of battle when they were young. They used to take such joy in pretending to stab each other with toy knives or break each other’s necks with playful headlocks. 

 

Thor remembers the sound of Loki’s neck snapping, the way his struggling form went limp as a ragdoll, the way Thanos tossed his body aside as if it had not once been someone Thor loved to the sun and moon and the edge of the Nine Realms and back again, his friend and his enemy and his  _ brother _ -

 

A person who had lived and laughed with such joy once. Who had once had a sweet tooth, whose favorite fruits were grapes and strawberries, who loved music and weaving stories, whose pranks were borderline mad, who could read through an entire shelf of books in a single night, who took such pride in his dress and demeanor, who was quick with his wit and his knives, who had shattered in the depths of the Void and still survived.

 

Until now. 

 

Thor’s shoulders shake and his heart breaks into another set of pieces and he thinks,  _ I will miss you.  _

 

_ Never doubt that I love you,  _ Loki’s voice whispers in his head. 

  
  
  


In the moment before the spaceship blows up, Thor has time to gently cup Loki’s cheek and turn his face up, so that he can look into his brother’s glassy eyes one last time. They are vacant and bloodshot now, but still a striking, vivid shade of green. He remembers the life that used to dance within them like a candle flame, scheming and unpredictable, fire one moment and ice the next.

 

_ Brother, brother, little brother - _

 

_ I  _ ~~_ thought _ ~~ _ still think the world of you.  _

 

Thor feels the ship begin to tremble, the metal plates rattling beneath him. He wants to stop crying because the tears are blurring his vision, and it makes it hard to focus on Loki’s still face. He lifts a shaking hand and gently closes Loki’s eyes. 

 

_ Sleep,  _ he thinks, stroking his thumb against the proud cheekbones. The ashen skin is colder than it was in life; what little warmth Loki once had has already bled out of him. 

 

_ Sleep, Prince of Asgard.  _

 

_ It will be Mother who kisses you awake in the morning.  _

 

The ship lets out a groan as its foundations begin to crack, and Thor braces himself. He is suddenly terrified beyond words, his heart clawing up to escape his throat, and he thinks - in a pitiful moment of cowardice and hope - that maybe it’s over after all, and he will die holding Loki in his arms, and for once they will be in on the joke together -

 

But then the ship explodes with an ear-shattering sound, and the force is enough to shake Thor’s already-weak grip on Loki’s body. He is flung backwards, his fingers tearing away from Loki’s arm no matter how he struggles to hold on. 

 

_ No,  _ he thinks in a panic,  _ no don’t go again - _

 

_ I wanted to catch you - _

 

_ Loki,  _ no -

 

But then he is hurtling into space all alone, where the night is endless and the sun does not shine, and just before his world goes black, he wonders if Loki’s last promise to him was a lie. 

 

/end/

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING
> 
> (I should have written a fix-it fic, but in all honesty, I wasn't sure how to fix it. So have some pure angst with a side of mourning!Thor and dead!Loki instead.)


End file.
